The Name’s Bond… Jane Bond
You know what the name means - it means danger, unending thrills, and more than anything, a license to kill. As a RAW agent, life may be a little bit dangerous, but I'm smarter than most of my enemies. Plus, I've got the most amazing backup team that you could ever think of. I can't reveal her name, but let's call her Betty!
I know Betty sounds like a character out of an Archie comic, but honestly, I'd rather have Betty on my side than James, who is always too busy chasing his tail to realise what's going on around him. Just last week, we were out on a mission together, and he conveniently disappeared once we were surrounded. I ended up taking a bullet to the knee. Thankfully, I was able to knock out my opponents and make it to hospital, where Betty looked after me. She even paid all those pesky medical bills that kept racking up. The doctors say I'll make a full recovery soon, thankfully! I can't wait to get back out on the field.
Now, as an undercover agent, I come face-to-face with death almost every day. But, what I've realised while serving my country is that death isn't something we need to be afraid of. In fact, I'm so prepared for death, I've written up my own obituary and everything. As far as I'm concerned, it's incredibly important to plan for life after death. I'm sure my family will miss me if one of my operations was to go sideways, but that doesn't mean they should stop living. Plus, I know Betty will definitely help them out if anything were to happen to me.
Now, I can't tell you how many kids I have (because then I'd have to shoot you), but I have asked Betty to look after them. She's great with planning, and she's put some money aside for their further education. She's guarding the money with her life, and she's promised to give my family all the savings we've racked up together if I don't make it out of an operation. Betty knows exactly how much I love my kids, and I know she'll take great care of them.
Betty also got me to save some money for myself and my husband. I mean, there's a 99% chance I will retire from active service with all my limbs intact, so we need to plan for that too. Right now, the husband and I are planning to travel the world well into our nineties. Betty says we need to save for the future, and you know what - I believe her! The one thing I've learned during all my operations is that we never really know what life will throw at us, do we?
Betty's great with my husband, too. He tends to grumble about my high-risk job and claims that it gets him so worked up that he's going to die of a heart attack. Thankfully, being the awesome partner that she is, Betty got his health totally under control. Apart from continuously nagging him to keep fit (I'd rather she nag him than I), she's got another trusty fund kept aside for his medical bills. In fact, she's got a special fund for him in case he ever does get a heart attack.
All this talk about Betty just reminded me of this awesome job we were on together in Turkey. A highly-sensitive USB drive had been stolen from one of our agents (honestly, James isn't all he's cracked up to be), and I was sent in to retrieve it. It was quite a struggle at first. My opponent almost got the better of me, but eventually, I managed to pin him to the ground and retrieve that all-important flash drive. When I finally had him tied to a chair, he asked how I was always so confident I would win. I told him that I always bring my backup with me. He thought I was talking about an army, and he bit a cyanide pill before I could tell him just how much I rely on good ol' Betty.
You know what, I think you could do with a little help from Betty too! If you want to face every danger that comes your way, head on, then you can get yourself your own little Betty.
Confused? Don't worry; I'll clear things up in a minute. Betty isn't an undercover operative like me. Betty is simply my insurance provider! That's right, my super-secret, all-important backup plan isn't an army, and it's just a good insurance policy that allows me to sleep peacefully every single night. If you also like to live life on the wild side, click here to find out how you can recruit insurance for your team!
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